Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Going home soon, yay!

I don't know why I say I am ''going home'' next week. I'm going to Michigan next week. I live in Florida. So why do I still call Michigan ''home"? I'm not the only person who does it...I have co-workers who have recently gone back to visit their hometowns and said they were going home when they live here, so I guess it's not that weird.

Anyway i'm very excited to visit my friends and family! I will of course be staying with my parents while I'm in town and I will hopefully see as many people as I possibly can while I'm there. I'm so excited to see my cat too haha. MILO!!!

The reason I'm going home to visit next week is because of my sister. She is moving to Connecticut to live with Brett, her fiance. So my mom doesn't like the idea of her driving to Connecticut by herself and was going to go with her and then fly back home but I know that my mom probably can't handle all that traveling, and it gives me an excuse to take time off work and hang out with the fam so I told my mom I'd drive with her and then fly back to Florida.

I'm really not thrilled at all with the idea of my sister moving in with Brett. And no it's not because they aren't married or because they haven't been dating for very long because that would be hypocritical on my part. I totally believe in living together before marriage. My sister is 18 years old, however, and I think that at that age you shouldn't be making decisions to leave home and start a new life just yet. I'm well aware that many many people straight out of high school go away to college, but that's completely different. They are going for their education and more than likely the school is not a thousand miles away. I've made all the points I can to both Emily and Brett about why they should hold off on moving in together, and so has my mom but neither one of them will budge from this decision. It's just one of those things where I could go on all day about why it's wrong but i won't.

Anyway mostly what I'm not looking forward to is when me and Emily leave to go to Connecticut. My mom is going to die. She is already depressed about me being gone because without me she doesn't really have anyone to really talk to. My dad, forget it. My sister spends most of her time talking on the phone or online with Brett (who currently lives in CT but he's from Michigan). I was the one who would hang out with her and watch movies with her and just be there most nights when she got home from work. But she's starting to let go more, and forgive me for leaving, and now just as shes starting to adjust my sister decides shes going to leave too. I just feel so bad for my mom. All she has left is my dad, and for anyone whos ever met the guy knows that living alone with him is like .....well it's too early to think of a good analogy to that one. ugh. it's just heart breaking to think about. And then I started thinking about how i need to visit home more often blah blah blah and then I remembered that whenever I DO go home to visit after this next trip, its not going to be the same because one of the most important people in my life won't be there...my sister. Things will NEVER feel the same way again.

As much as I love my life here in Florida, sometimes I can't help but truly miss the way my life used to be. And I know I've expressed this before but it's true, it doesn't really get any less painful the more time goes on. I miss my old jobs; even after i left MJR it was only natural for me to still visit and hang out with my old friends every time. I miss school and classes (i'm sure i'd take that back in a heart beat though, haha), I miss everyone who used to be in my life, I miss having a FULL life. I don't feel like i have a full life anymore. I really don't and I really hate it. But I do have it good, I constantly remind myself that I am living my own dream and i need to just remember that.

Well i think Ive bored myself back to sleep..har har...Enjoy

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